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04-21-2010 Head case. Selfish. Workhorse. Emotional. Overpaid. Not an "ace." These are all terms used to describe Carlos Zambrano, who was today demoted to the Cubs bullpen. This year's Cubs team has problems, but you can't tell me that Zambrano, four starts into the season, is one of them. Maybe he makes oodles of money. Maybe he isn't an ace. But sending him to the bullpen isn't going to help the Cubs most glaring deficiency: offense. The Cubs have scored 53 runs in their first 14 games. They have lost their past four while tallying only six total runs. Zambrano was a bit of a tough luck loser last night, as the Cubs bats rapped out only three hits. Z pitched six innings, giving up two runs while striking out nine. Incidentally, John Grabow worked an inning and gave up a pinch-hit two-run home run to Fernando Tatis, who this year is working for half the salary he took home in 2009. But the Cubs supposedly didn't want another lefty in the bullpen. Not with John Grabow, James Russell, and Sean Marshall already there. Sean Marshall, the Cubs most reliable reliever, has been (mis-)used in mop up duty three times over the past week. James Russell is only 24 and a bit of an unknown entity at this point. John Grabow is a real gem. He's never posted a WHIP below 1.20, and doesn't strike out two for every batter he walks over his career. Gotta keep him around. And who can't be moved to the bullpen? Tom Gorzellany, that's who! Tom Gorzelanny. You want to sell me on this guy and tell me he's the greatest thing since chocolate met peanut butter? Well, I ain't buyin'. This is a guy who the Cubs plucked from the Pirates in '09, after the Pirates had already traded off their best seven players. (Late to the party much, Mr. Hendry?) Even the Pirates "Fire Sale" sign was sold before the Cubs traded for him and John Grabow. Gorzelanny wasn't good enough to maintain a major league roster spot on this '09 Pirates club that was destined to lose 99 games. Tom Gorzelanny put together one of the worst pitching seasons known to man way way back in ... 2008! He posted the devil's ERA (6.66), walked more batters (70) than he struck out (67), and busted out a harrowing 1.8+ WHIP. Even Devo didn't whip it that good. Don't want to move Wells...fine. I get it. Don't want to move former reliver Ryan Dempster because he's been effective...fine. Don't want to move Carlos Silva... (shaking my head). I'm about ready to give up here. Would anyone care to guess what Carlos Silva's career batting average against is? .303! F'n Mickey Mantle didn't hit .303 for his career!! Here are Carlos Silva's stats, just so you don't think I'm making them up. I would understand if you thought I was making that up. I could list more stats; it would be like making a list of Chuck Norris' accomplishments, but the exact opposite. Would anyone like to tell Mr. Dreamy, Jeff Samardzija, that he can't pitch in the big leagues? I'd really like some more evidence of his skills before I give him clearance to pitch at a family barbeque. He can't find the strike zone with a navigation system, and just a couple nights ago a Met turned on one of his pitches so hard that it nearly killed poor Aramis at 3rd. Aramis is already a Glass Joe out there anyway. His groin, shoulder, and back all hamper him; I'm sure a baseball off the chest isn't going to do him much good. I have been a Cubs fan for decades. I have endured jabs from White Sox fans and Cardinals fans, and rightfully so. Both clubs have won a World Series since 2005. I have endured high ticket prices and legalized scalping. I have endured heartbreak from a collection of players who routinely do not show emotion - where Zambrano is the exception. I have endured managers like Don Baylor and Dusty and Lou - some senile, some flatliners, some a combination. I have endured heartbreak from all sorts of players, be they Cubs or combatants: Will Clark, Moises Alou, Alex Gonzalez. I watched the destruction of a team in '03, which featured Kerry Wood and Mark Prior in their respective primes (Prior's 2003 game log, which I will post in as many columns as I want. Don't forget to peep his annihilation of the Cards and Astros in August and September. Those teams finished 3 and 1 game back of the Cubs, respectively.)...A team up 3-2 in the NLCS and headed back to Wrigley, only to drop two to the Marlins, who went on to beat a weak Yankees club in the World Series. I was at Wrigley for the Cubs last two playoff losses in 2008. I love baseball. I love its history. The different eras. I love pitchers, hitters. I love that winter doesn't turn to spring for me. Instead, winter turns to "baseball weather." If only I could take solace in Bart Giammatti's words on baseball: "It breaks your heart. It is designed to break your heart..." Not today. Instead I choose the words of my boy Cerrano, from my favorite baseball movie, Major League. "I'm pissed off now, Cubs. Look, I go to you. I stick up for you. You don't help me now. I say 'F*** you,' Cubs." What do Cubs fans have to look forward to anyway? Starlin Castro? Ryno taking the helm from Lou? Kevin Gregg not being on the team this year? I like watching Z pitch (and bat). At least he shows some emotion. I'd rather see passion from him than a straight-faced Derrek Lee hit into a double play in a clutch situation. This franchise has an enormous payroll and the most expensive tickets in the league. Where is the product? Where is the plan for the future? F*** you, Cubs. |
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