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Breaking Bad recap: Fifty-One
08-06-2012

"This one goes out to the one I love
This one goes out to the show that can kiss...my behind.

R.E.M., sorta

Guess what? I hated this episode. I think it was the worst of the entire series. I feel like I spent a day asking for chocolate cake with chocolate frosting and instead someone just tossed me a dried up, crumbly Tootsie Roll that had been in their pocket all day. And not even in a wrapper. Just collecting a bunch of pocket lint and dents from the ridges of dimes and pennies.

There are two blogs about Breaking Bad that I enjoy. I make it a point to hold off reading them until I'm finished with my own blog for the week, so I'm not influenced by their commentary or things they might have picked up on in the show that I missed. (ie. Mike's granddaughter's toy was a pig, not a rabbit.) Anyway, I keep my blog honest. But I cheated this week. I hated this episode so much, I had to check the other blogs to see what they thought. Turns out they loved this episode. I'm still dumbfounded, or maybe just dumb. Anyway, they're both consistently good reads, so here you go:

Alan Sepinwall of Hitfix.com - Tremendous TV blogger. Well-rounded, so he can cross-reference many shows. He also has a ton of rabid followers who post and get into some great discussions on the Comments section.

Andy Greenwald of Grantland.com. - Funnier than I am.

Since I truly hated this episode, I'm not going to waste a lot of time making with the funny and putting in links and pictures to this week's blog. I'd actually rather just get it over with. I have cards to price and Nutty Bars to eat. But first, I want to justify my opinion on why this episode was a waste of our time.

Gripe 1): The opening scene was a glorified car ad. WTF? I don't rail against this show for employing some product placement, but this was simply a waste of my time. We've gone down the path with Walter buying off Junior/Flynn with a Charger anyway.

Redeeming quality: I enjoyed the reference to the Aztec windshield. That poor thing took more punishment than the inside of Charlie Sheen's nasal cavities.


Gripe 2): Lydia! Without the mismatched shoes and ever-so-annoying screaming into a pillow, we knew she was crazy.

Redeeming quality: "14 agents... yelling and screaming at me." I do enjoy when women are called out on their exaggerations.


Gripe 3): Over-the-top bonding/joking between Walter and Walter Jr. At this point, we know this is going to lead to something bad, or that it is just done to the detriment of Skyler.

Redeeming quality: None.


Gripe 4): Hank being promoted to A.S.A.C. From the time we knew Merkert was getting canned we knew Hank would be offered/given that position.

Redeeming quality: I don't know. I like Hank. I like to see that he's up and walking again and that his PTSD has hopefully subsided.


Gripe 5): The scene with Hank and Marie driving to the White's for Walter's b-day. We knew Marie would parrot to Hank that Walt told her Skyler had an affair with the similarly worthless Ted Beneke, who by the way, looks great in his 1950's braces headgear. This is probably the biggest waste of our time, and biggest insult to us as fans of the show. Gilligan and Co. have done a magnificent job of telling us when things have happened off-camera. This could have easily been one of those things. And frankly, I think it would have been more effective.

Redeeming quality: None. In fact, seeing Hank be wrong about something (thinking Walt had the affair) doesn't sit well with me when he ordinarily has such good intuition (except about Walt in general).


Gripe 6): Walt drones on about the past year while Skyler sllloooowwwwllly walks into the deep-end pool. Booooorrrrrrring!

Redeeming quality: Sorry, but I fail to let the beautiful imagery of this scene overcome the ridiculously slow and predictable payout.

(For anyone scoring at home, we're already half-way through the episode.)

Gripe 7): We take up another 10+ minutes of airtime for the following to play out: A bug is found on a drum of Methylene and Skyler convinces Hank and Marie to watch Walter Jr and Holly. That's nearly a quarter of a episode for basically nothing.

Redeeming quality: None.


Point 8): I'll give the Walt/Skyler argument scene some credit because this was easily the highlight of the episode. We learn that Skyler has gone from depressed to scheme-hatching, even if Walt has a decent defense for all of her possible scenarios. She also delivers a nice upper-cut in the form of "Wait...for the cancer to come back." And woosh!, Heisenberg and his outdated hipster hat are rushed back to reality. The man who has defeated everything in his path so far realizes once again that he is human. He can do everything from using Jesse as a pawn to killing our favorite super-villian Gus Fring. But cancer is the shadow that follow him until his sun shines no more.

Counter-point: Walt is no stranger to racing time; he has been doing just that since this series began.


Gripe 9): Why is Jesse so opposed to killing Lydia? Is he tired of death? Did he have a romantic encounter with her that we weren't privy to? Jesse needs the meth business to continue less than Mike or Walt. He's likely got money, honies, friends, a home, and a relatively clean rap sheet and lack of police suspicion at the moment. In fact, he hasn't had a black eye or hospital stay in weeks, if not months. He doesn't need this business to continue on this level.

Redeeming quality: None.


Gripe 9): Heavy-handedness in the final scene. So Skyler is drinking from a "Caution Entering (Area) 51" mug. So she's trying to second-hand smoke Walt to death. I freakin' get it already.

Redeeming quality: I do like the cajones Walt has as he explains how Jesse wanted to kill him a couple weeks ago, and then turned around and bought him a watch for his birthday. This is a man with extreme confidence in his ability to control the people around him. Thank goodness for that domineering spirit; I'm anxious to see what dark alley that leads him down next.

Stay tuned to the show... and my blog!
-T


tony@monstercards.net