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04-07-2014 "Whatever you are, be a good one." -attributed to Abraham Lincoln Buckle up. Because I. Am. Pissed. Like many people, I have a history in customer service. Not just cards, but also a bagboy/cashier in a grocery store for a couple years and five years as a teller in a bank. In those jobs, you see the whole range of human emotions. You meet people who are perpetually energetic and happy to those who are quiet and polite to those who are constantly grumpy and miserable. You also see ordinarily nice people having bad days, and occasionally break through to someone normally a curmudgeon and turn them into some who smiles and chats you up when they visit. Some of the worst treatment I ever received was at the bank. No, I wasn't beaten or told I was worthless by a parent or anything like that. But relatively speaking, things could get dicey. And we had very little recourse. In that position, you have to stay professional, especially if the asshole customer (oh yeah, look out - likely a lot of bad language ahead) has a decent amount of money on deposit, or a loan, or knows someone higher up in the bank. The only weapon we really had at our disposal was closing someone's account. And that could only happen if the person really flipped their shit and caused a scene or dropped a handful of f-bombs at you, or made sexually inappropriate remarks to a female teller. But you wanna see someone pissed? Tell them they're overdrawn. Tell them they just got socked with a new fee that they should have received a note about in the mail. Tell them their funds from a check they deposited a couple days ago are on hold. Mess with someone's money and see the animal in them come out. They will treat you as if you are less than human... And you'll be forced to smile and absorb it. Having that front-line experience while being an employee for a company is one thing. Having your own business and being the face of that business is quite another. LeBron James is a brand. Monster Cards is a brand. It is a combination of my personality, my reputation. It is this column and everything else I write. Don't think I'm not cognizant of that. I need to connect with my customers. I really, really enjoy this (more on that below), but I also need to maintain that connection in order for my business to continue. With what I'm going to say below, I'm going to be a little unprofessional. I'm going to tell you all a story. Because I think you'll find it interesting. But mainly because I need to vent. Names won't be revealed. Exact dollar amounts won't be revealed. That takes a little punch out of parts of the story. But still, I hope you'll enjoy it a bit, maybe even get a few uncomfortable laughs out of my tale, and - if it interests you - understand a little more about me and (how I run) my business. And maybe I'll find a little peace afterwards. I sure hope so. The story of how I bought a 1952 Topps set Background: Even before this deal, my friends knew this customer as Mr. Annoying. It's not a habit of mine to talk about specific customers to my friends/family; usually I just reference any cool items I've picked up and leave it at that. Anyone reading this is likely a huge sportscard fan. And a harsh truth is that you have to dig fairly hard - online or at shows usually - to find people as interested in cards as you are. Otherwise, even people who do understand and appreciate your passion don't ask the right questions or just plain don't "get it." But anyway, I digress. Mr. Annoying earned that nickname from a deal we did this past December. To try and briefly summarize, that deal involved 3 full hotel carts of cards that ended up filling half my van. Everything from the two worst graded T206 Ty Cobbs (both HEAVILY trimmed, graded as Authentic by BVG) to over (100) '52 Topps singles to a 2011 Topps factory set. What would have ordinarily taken me an hour to go through ended up taking over 5 hours. Five fucking hours. The deal was done for exactly $5081. If that tells you the type of person I was dealing with. The number of times Mr. Annoying, a person who admitted he had never sold a card before in his life, told me, "You should be able to sell that card for more than that," easily numbered in the double digits. He slowed the process down to a crawl with his 'negotiating'... Oh hell. I forgot a key to the story. He's a lawyer. (Not from St Louis, but hours away.) This guy was built to talk my ear off, but not in a nice way; in a conniving way, as you will read. So anyway, that was Deal #1, and it was a painful one at that. I was frustrated - frustrated enough to dub him Mr. Annoying, which speaks for itself. But I'm happy to teach anyone about the hobby. And I figured once he learned a little about how the business worked from the dealer side of the table, any future dealings would be easier. Ugh. I figured wrong. So wrong. Pre-deal discussion: The discussion about his '52 Topps set started about a month ago. He said it was the last part of his collection, and he was finally ready to sell it. Knowing this was a much smaller bunch of cards to go through, hoping that he had learned how to make the process go smoother, I was optimistic. Even if our 20+ e-mail exchanges and 15+ texts about this got a little... um, rocky. About 20 of the cards were graded, including the Mantle (GAI 1.5) and Jackie (PSA 4) and Mays (PSA 2). Many more were 1s and 2s by PSA, GAI, and KSA (Canadian). He estimated that the remainder of the set was "in 3-4 condition" with the Lo#s slightly nicer and Hi#s slighly worse. This was enough information for me to give him an estimate of what it would be worth. Without seeing any of the cards, I was super-specific in telling him that my number was a ballpark figure and that the actual offer would not happen over e-mail, only after I saw the cards in person. Everything seemed fine. Fast forward a couple weeks where all we discussed was when we would meet. Not a word about price was spoken. Until... Until one week before we met, when he suddenly said he wanted $5500 more than what I gave him as a ballpark estimate! Yikes! I told him not to make the drive if he was expecting that much. I responded, "I see a very, very low likelihood that the condition would be nice enough to warrant $(your figure). So if you come up on Sunday, please be expecting around the $(my estimate) price from me directly, or, should you want to pursue this path instead, the scenario where I take this on consignment." (Note: We originally planned on meeting Sunday, but later changed it to Saturday.) In his next e-mail, he acknowledged I needed to see them, but countered with an offer that was $2500 lower (still $3000 more than my estimate). A couple more e-mails flew back and forth where I provided him with actual sales data on what the average Hi# in the condition he estimated sold for, and then I said (again) in response to his requests to nail down an offer through e-mail, "I'm not able to agree on a price without seeing the cards. I can just estimate the likelihood of you getting what you're asking for. I know it's a drive for you, so I don't want you to come all that way not knowing what to expect." He agreed that my original thinking was correct. My estimate was in play and the price would be subject to the condition of the cards. Finally... we were back to Square One! The Deal It took about 45 minutes for pleasantries and for me to look through the set and some miscellaneous other cards/items he had to sell. For the technical card nerds out there, the set was in way worse condition (and we only started with Vg-VgEx expectations!) than he esttimated. Plenty had paper loss or album pages adhered to the backs, some writing, a bunch (mostly Lo#s) with water staining. And the Mathews RC (2nd key to the set after Mantle) was WAY trimmed - inside the borders on both the left and right side. This set is Fair condition at best. So it was time to break the bad news... this set was worth about $4500 less than I projected. The Negtiation This is where the true torture began for me. Mr. Annoying is not loud, but he is verbose. In general, I don't do well with people like that unless they have something thought-provoking (or positive) to say. He didn't. He essentially held me hostage in my own hotel room and unleashed fairly transparent insults (with some guilt and flawed logic sprinkled in for variety!) at me for an hour while trying to drive my price up. I'm an honest person. Most of the time, I am a calm person. And I'm pleased to say I maintained my cool and my honesty during this entire time. Even while enduring some serious bullshit. The Bullshit Actual, honest to goodness, tactics used/spoken by Mr. Annoying over the course of the next hour: 1) He started with a tasty appetizer of a story about a lawyer mentor of his. He said this gentleman taught him the value in settling a case versus taking it to trial with all the extra time/cost it would require, and also with the uncertainty of what the judge's ruling would be. I assume this was an attempt to get me to cave and come up to his dollar figure - or to meet in the middle, which he mentioned several times (as if that's logical at all when you start at an arbitrary number not knowing what the actual value is of the cards) - and not eat up more time. My response: "Sure, I understand that." (No need to regale me with the basics of economic risk and the value of time. These things are considered with every card/deal I purchase.) 2) Next, and used several (at least 5) more times over that hour: His expectations were of the original figure we had discussed through e-mail, and he was disappointed/hung up on that number. This was an interesting tactic. Part guilt mixed with some sort of implication that I wasn't holding up my end of the bargain in paying my estimate. My response: I expected a nicer set. This was an easy rebuttal for me. The value of any vintage card is completely based on condition. I said this to him many times in e-mails and in person prior to meeting up. In fact, I say this more to customers than nearly anything else. I only hit him with this response the first time he brought it up, because I didn't see the value in being a broken record (unlike him). But the 4th time he used this argument and started to get kinda personal with the "You said..." type line, I mentioned that there was no need to go back and forth in such a manner. This was a business deal, and there was no reason not to be cordial. Yes, I'm painting myself as the hero. And yes, that is exactly the way this went down. 3) The next thing Mr. Annoying threw at me was this gem, "Ya know, people have a saying 'Pigs get fed; hogs get slaughtered.' Not that I'm saying this about you, but..." My response: (I'm halfway to seething, but determined not to let it show.) "Yeah, I've heard that line used in reference to the stock market." Deflection. Nice work, Tony. Meanwhile, my inner dialog is ratcheting up to "WTF?!?" mode. 4) Around this point, I budge and come up $1000 on my offer. It's still not good enough, as he has "come down" somewhere between $4-6000, depending on the low and high ends of what Mr. Annoying figured he would go home with in his pocket. He says, completely straight-faced, as if this would have done him a bit of good, "I should have just started at a higher figure." My response: "It doesn't really matter where you start. It's a matter of what the cards are worth." 5) Back to storytime, he told me about a lawyer that no other lawyers like to deal with. Apparently there is a lawyer out there, and whenever he's in a negotiation, he has to have the pot divided 60/40 in his favor. And do I know what? After a while, other lawyers don't want to deal with him. Again - Not that this is related to me at all, but... My response: "Yeah, I get it. I know some dealers like that." (Mr. Annoying, you're not effectively hiding your true feelings about me. I think I'm picking up a vibe of how you think I run my business. I think I am indeed.) I skip telling him about how many great customers I have, but I do think about them. Those thoughts keep me happy in this moment. 6) Mr. Annoying then went into another strange combo of intertwining logical and guilt-laden arguments. He could be at home spending time with his family. Or he could be at the office chalking up billable hours. My response: None, really. To be fair, he did acknowledge that I could have been doing something else with my time. I did, however, cave and offer him another $200 for all sorts of what I called "psychological considerations": the fact that he drove a couple hours each way, that we had done a (super-hellish) deal in the past, and because he claimed to have a few more cards to sell later, including a Musial rookie and another T206 Cobb. 7) Here, things start to get more in-depth. I'll try to gloss through the high points. I go into great detail and do him the courtesy of pulling back the curtain a bit on my business. I tell him I've never had a Mantle RC (the Topps, at least) or, obviously, a complete '52 set. I reveal that this would be a cool marketing tool for me. I can advertise it at the show, on Facebook, Twitter, my website - the whole social ball of wax. It's a personal milestone for me. However, I emphasize that all of those factors are already figured in to my offer. I'm stretching with my offer. I explain that I'm wired to complete in auctions, nationally, with other dealers. When I make offers on cards that are desirable and easy to sell, I offer aggressively so I can get them. News flash: having money doesn't make me money; having cards cycle in and out makes me money. I tell him that I can't offer any higher, and try to hammer home the fact that I'm willing to let these cards walk out the door at a higher price. That's it. I feel there's nothing more I can say to make my case. If I'm willing to let these go, that should be an indication of what they're worth. At this point, I even go so far as to give him another dealer's name/e-mail/phone number in the area. Is it not crystal clear that I'm maxing out on my offer?! As part of this discussion, he flat-out asks me what I think I would sell the set for. This is ballsy on his part. But I give him an honest answer, because, if you ask me a question, generally I will give an answer. That's just how I am. I tell him that I would expect to sell this set for about 13% more than I'm offering. This is by no means a huge margin, and it's not even a net amount. Things not factored in: time, fees, risk of loss/damage/theft, etc. Surprisingly, this is not acceptable to him. Mr. Annoying, lawyer, who has sold cards once in his life - to me, because he enjoyed buying from me at some point in the past - continues to tell me my business. Tells me I should be willing to work off of less of a profit. My response: -silence- This is not going well. I'm wondering why he doesn't leave, and hoping he does sooner rather than later. I've done everything I can, even gone above and beyond explaining the coolness of marketing and telling him my estimated sales price. I'm beat. I can do no more. 8) This is the one that got me. I wouldn't have been inspired to take five hours to write an entire column dedicated to exposing one of my customers as an asshole, if he hadn't taken this parting shot. He started to pack up his cards and leave, but said to me, "It's a shame. I thought someone like you would be excited about buying something like this set. I didn't think it was all about the money. I can't believe you would let this walk away if you really liked cards." At least I think that's what he said. Because inside, I went dead fucking red. That motherfucker just crossed a line, is what he did. This completely ignorant prick, who put his collection together (as cheaply as possible I might add), has the fucking balls to sit five feet away from me, insult me over and over, guilt me, talk me to death for an hour, tell me how I should be running my (very successful, thank you) business, and then cap it off by accusing me of not having a passion for cards!?!? A big, hairy, special FUCK YOU, Mr. Annoying. My reaction: stunned silence, cocked head, slack jaw, confused look I want to interject a happy note, but I don't want to end on a happy note. Back in high school, I had notebook after notebook I'd scribble in...draw pictures, write jokes, write music lyrics, pass notes back and forth...whatever. One day I ran across a quote from Jackie Robinson. I like fun or thought-provoking quotes as much as the next guy, but often forget them. But this one stuck with me: "Life is not important, except for the impact it has on other people's lives." It's simple, yet deep. It's a call to think outside yourself and realize the interconnectedness (is that a word?) of us all. We use all sorts of random things to find common ground and connect with each other. TV shows, music, hobbies, being from the same hometown, food, the fucking weather... whatever the case is, we use topics to engage other people and start the process of knowing them better. I'm pleased to say that I've met a lot of great people dealing cards - customers and other dealers alike. I've traveled around the country and been invited in to plenty of people's homes. I've had people share with me things about their families and jobs and lives. I love cards and it has been wonderful that this hobby has allowed me the opportunity to meet so many people who share that interest, and learn much more about them. The Conclusion But some people, I'd rather not know. Mr. Annoying and I got this deal done. I still can't believe it happened. To quickly recap that turn of events: he said, "You can't go any higher than (original offer + $1000)?" I reminded him of the extra $200 I'd offered to kick in around Torture Point #6 up there, and he said, "Well that's all I needed...just a little consideration from you instead of being a stone." This sure didn't help. The fact that he was probably doing so much talking that he forgot what I'd said/offered. The fact that he never acknowledged the $1000 I had gone up earlier. And especially the fact that I had just calmly explained every facet of my business to him all while absorbing body blow after body blow from his condescending little bitch mouth. But I didn't mention any of these things. Why? Why get in a jab at someone unnecessarily? That's not how I'm interested in living. (Although... writing this whole column might count as sort of a jab, no? Oh fucking well. I don't care if Mr. Annoying reads this. He lost my phone number and hasn't "liked" my Facebook page, so I doubt he ever visits my website.) I don't know what's happened to that dude in his life to make him how he is. He isn't that old - probably around my age. Maybe he's abrasive or annoying to everyone and doesn't realize it. Maybe he's stupid and gives everyone unwanted advice and judgement. Maybe life has beat him down to the point where he's at. I don't know him that well, and it's probably pretty obvious that I don't want to. Encounters with him make my life WAY worse. So. This was a weekend of firsts for me. First '52 Topps set. First '52 Mantle RC. And now, you, Mr. Annoying, are the first customer I will NEVER, EVER deal with again. I will not sell you a card; I will not take cards off your hands for free. You are so miserable and dickish that you spoiled what should have been a very exciting moment in the history of my business. Stay the fuck away from me forever. Have fun with that, Mr. Annoying! -T You can now find me all over the web:  Like Monster Cards on Facebook (Frequent updates and scans of new inventory - graded and ungraded!)
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Inside My Brain